Within the Heart Read online

  “I can’t help it. You always manage to do something to irritate me!”

  “Which is the very reason you should never want me to become your wife,” she reasoned.

  “The only problem is, I love you too much, Shanny. I don’t think I could learn to love someone else the way I love you!”

  “You have never had a chance to meet someone else,” she pointed out. “When we get to Philadelphia, you will probably meet all kinds of young women that you may like as much as me or better.”

  “I don’t want someone new and exciting, Shanny. I want someone familiar, who I have known all my life.”

  Shanny merely stood there looking at him sadly. She didn’t want to hurt him, because she loved him too, but not the way he seemed to love her.

  Joey stepped toward her, taking her head in his hands, and planted his mouth against hers once again. Only this time there was a desperate passion that passed from him to her, which caused Shanny’s heart to start to flutter. The subtle change in his kiss caused an excitement to race through her, and she tried to control the beating of her heart as he continued the kiss.

  Then he was releasing her, causing her to stagger backward, as he pulled away abruptly.

  “That’s the last time I am ever going to kiss you, Shanny, unless you end up agreeing to become my wife.”

  She couldn’t answer. If she did, he would expect too much from her, so she merely watched him as he stomped away. She wondered if she had lost his friendship, or if he would eventually start to treat her as he always had in the past? He was right. She didn’t know him. He did love her too much, and she didn’t love him enough.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The bustle of the train station in Dodge kept Shanny’s thoughts distracted as they went about the business of purchasing tickets, unloading trunks, and getting ready to board. Connor remained on the platform, watching them climb up the wooden steps an attendant placed before the train coach door. While he would miss his adopted parents, along with Joey and Shanny, a sense of excitement settled over him. He would be on his own to run the ranch as he pleased. Connor could barely wait to get back.

  Shanny, on the other hand, felt disgruntled. The journey to Dodge became strained between her and Joey because Joey was upset with her. They always enjoyed each other’s company in the past, only now, Joey had the crazy notion that she should marry him and it put a damper on their usual camaraderie. They had practically been inseparable growing up. Now she just wanted to keep her distance.

  At least, this visit to Philadelphia would give her the opportunity to meet new friends and attend social affairs. If she and Joey remained at the ranch, Joey would try harder to wear down her resistance. She would be working on the ranch beside Joey and supplementing work by spending time sharing activities with Joey and the rest of her family. Her social life, as Joey had mentioned, was very limited. It was difficult to meet people her own age beyond the drovers and ranchers in the area, which could leave Joey as her only choice for a husband if she didn’t marry some ranchers or one of their workers.

  On the last leg of the trip to Dodge, Shanny replaced her denims with a proper dress and had to ride in the wagon. Shanny’s mother spent that time telling Shanny stories of her life growing up in Philadelphia. It all sounded exciting and different from Shanny’s life on their cattle ranch. There would be all sorts of events taking place with balls to attend, and outings to enjoy. Callie assured Shanny there would not be a boring moment, once her grandmother took over the agenda.

  As the four of them walked down the aisle of the passenger car, Shanny looked about with excitement filling her curious blue eyes. She had often wondered when bringing the cattle to the stockyards, where they would then be loaded into a boxcar, what it would be like to ride on one of those noise monsters? The possibilities of destinations were limitless, only she never imagined she would ever set foot on one or travel clear across the United States to the east coast.

  The passenger coach itself was as luxurious as the beautiful house her mother had built, shortly after Shanny’s birth. Decorative lights with white globes and gold trim hung suspended over the center of the aisle. The ceiling of the coach displayed ornate designs in gold and red. The overstuffed seats faced each other, and the porter explained that at night the two facing seats could fold down to create a comfortable bed. Above the seats was a compartment, when pulled down, made an upper bunk, where curtains both below and above were pulled together for privacy. The porter called it a Pullman car and Shanny was surprised and impressed with the comfort offered to passengers. She wondered if this was just a sample of the comforts she would experience, once they arrived in Philadelphia.

  Her mother seldom spoke of her parents or her life in Philadelphia while Shanny was growing up. However, now that Callie had shared events of her youth with Shanny, she discovered more about the life her mother had enjoyed in Philadelphia. Now, she understood why the prospect of living on a cattle ranch in Texas with Chet had been distasteful to her mother all those years ago.

  Although Callie never spoke to the children concerning her relationship with Chet, Connor knew the truth and there were times he spoke of how cruel Chet had been to both Callie’s sister and Callie.

  Shanny had seen the shabby shack of a house Callie had spent the first part of her marriage to Chet in where Shanny was born. Now Mr. Daniels lived in the shack. He cooked meals for the workers when they hired extra help and went as a cook on the cattle drive. Mr. Daniels was getting up in age, but he was like part of the family. Shanny had known him all her life and she liked to visit him in the little shack. She often wondered what it would have been like if her mother hadn’t built the big house, and she and her brothers and sisters were still living there?

  Now, there wasn’t much for Mr. Daniels to do, since all the children were old enough to work the ranch instead of hiring on help, and Callie did the cooking. However, now that Conner would have to enlist the help of Chayton’s Comanche friends, Mr. Daniels would have to start cooking meals again, Shanny thought. She was betting that Conner would have Mr. Daniels cook the meals for the family, as well, since she knew how much her older sisters hated cooking.

  Thinking of her mother’s beginnings in Texas, Shanny had to accept what Joey told her about her birth being forced on Callie. It made her feel displaced in some way, believing her mother never wished to have her, despite the love Callie always showered Shanny with.

  Shanny realized when the story of the event was told by Conner in moments of sharing, even nursing Joey, as an infant, had been forced upon Callie. Only Callie had fallen in love with Chayton and now they were a mixed matched family. Connor and her half-sisters belonging to Callie’s older sister, Rolletta, while Joey, belonged to Chayton. Shanny felt caught between the two sides of the family.

  Shanny found a seat next to a window and busied herself waving through the open glass to Connor, standing on the platform. She could see Surefire tossing her head where she stood tethered to the back of the wagon, alongside Tumbleweed. She would miss her beloved horse she had raised from a filly. Joey had helped her train Surefire, she reminisced with pleasure. He had helped her do everything, she realized, feeling an unexplainable bout of nostalgia. Now he would no longer play such a big part in her life. Apparently, that was just part of growing up, she decided.

  She stole a glance at Joey, who had placed himself in a seat across the aisle from her, his head turned looking out the window on the opposite side of the train. He wore his black hat pulled down low over his forehead, as though trying to hide his Indian features. Nonetheless, Shanny noticed he was wearing the eagle feather, tied to a thin braid he had plaited in his long, luxuriant hair. The fact that he let his long hair flow loosely with a feather hanging in it indicated to Shanny that he was being defiant about his background and wanted to flaunt his Indian heritage.

  Shanny’s mother and Chayton settled in the seat facing her. Callie looked over to Joey, who plainly, intended to ignore them all, she decided
. It did not pass her notice that others on the train looked with unabashed curiosity at Joey and Chayton, dressed in his Indian buckskin fringe. She, in turn, ignored them the same way Joey chose to ignore his own family. Callie saw the pained expression on Shanny’s face as she surveyed her Indian brother. They had been distant the whole journey to Dodge, and the change in their previous closeness troubled Callie. She suspected the reason Joey sat across from them was that he refused to sit next to Shanny because of some childish argument they had. She hoped they would resolve their differences in time. Nonetheless, these petty quarrels between Shanny and Joey were happening more often than not.

  Shanny could hear the train building up steam and then releasing it as the wheels started to move forward. Billows of steam rose around the platform in the early morning chill, making Connor appear as though he was in a fog. Then it cleared and the sharp sound of the train whistle blew, announcing its departure. The train started to gain speed, leaving Connor behind on the platform waving until he was finally out of sight.

  Shanny released a long sigh, resigning herself to an unknown future with promises of newfound adventures she was sure would be nothing like her life on their ranch in Texas. She glanced over at Joey again but he seemed absorbed in looking at the countryside streaking past as the train gained full speed. She gave a shrug. She might as well enjoy her adventure regardless of how Joey treated her, she decided. She certainly was not going to let him put a damper on her enjoyment, she told herself firmly.

  An assortment of well-dressed people occupied the Pullman coach. They were riding in first class and their fellow passengers exhibited the finest in clothes and jewels. Frilly hats topped the heads of women, with feathers bobbing and netting covering genteel faces. The men looked dapper in striped suits and derby hats sporting wide fancy ties about their necks. Some even wore bow ties. Observing finely dressed society was a new experience for Shanny. She had grown used to scruffily dressed cowboys and ranchers in their typical western clothes, even when they were dressed for formal events. She patted her own bonnet, which was covering her abundance of golden curls that boasted only one flimsy feather. However, it, along with her dress, was made of expensive material which indicated her own wealth. She and her family may be from the middle of nowhere, but they had become wealthy ranchers over the years.

  For the first several miles, Shanny occupied herself examining the various styles of dress her neighboring passengers wore. When she tired of that, she looked out the window as the countryside changed from one view to the next. The clack of the wheels on the tracks played a constant rhythm in her ears. On occasion, the engineer blasted the shrill horn, which always gave Shanny a start.

  After an hour or so into the journey, a porter came down the aisle announcing that breakfast was being served in the dining car. The passengers filed into the adjoining car, going through a door that opened onto a platform with a guardrail, which bridged from one car to the next. Shanny thought it exhilarating, feeling the wind catch at her skirts as they passed from the passenger car to the dining car.

  The dining car was like walking into a fancy restaurant. Tables with chairs greeted them, and waiters stood at the ready to serve the crowd. First-class tickets included the meals, so there was no need to consider how much it cost. One merely chose from the menu what they wished to eat.

  Joey begrudgingly sat at the table with his family when Callie gave him a warning look as he started to be seated elsewhere.

  “I don’t know what has gotten into you, Joey,” Callie scolded. “We are a family and are on this journey together. The least you can do is be civil and enjoy the experience. I don’t know what has prompted you to be angry with Shanny, but you need not shun us all over your disagreement!”

  “It is nothing, mother,” Shanny volunteered. “I took Joey’s eagle feather and he is still cross about it.”

  “Well, I see it is dangling from your braid, Joey,” Callie pointed out, “so that should be the end of your sulking.”

  Joey gave one sullen look at Shanny and then smiled at Callie, pulling out a chair as far from Shanny as he could, and sitting down. He grabbed up a menu and buried his nose in it.

  Shanny merely raised her eyebrow at him and gave a smirk which Callie noticed, but she said nothing about, as she released a sigh. Shanny’s eyes wandered away from her own table as she gazed about the dining car. It was then that she noticed a young woman sitting at a table across from them who was peering at Joey over her menu, and Shanny gave her a friendly smile. She didn’t know if the woman’s interest was from attraction or distaste. However, she looked more interested than judgmental, Shanny decided.

  The waiter came and took their order, returning with their meal a few minutes later. As they began to eat, Shanny could not help but notice the redheaded young woman looking up from time to time, as she appraised Joey out of the corner of her eye. Anyway, Shanny was certain that was what she was doing.

  Chayton and Callie tried to keep the conversation going, as they discussed what a visit to Callie’s parent’s house may entail.

  “I am certain of one thing,” Callie said. “My mother won’t be happy until she has turned Shanny into the kind of lady she can approve of. She may even insist she take speech lessons to get rid of her Texas drawl.”

  “I shall never take speech lessons,” Shanny protested.

  “It will take more than speech lessons to turn Shanny into a lady,” Joey grinned. “I hate to say this, Mother, but when you raise young girls on a horse and have them wrangling cattle, they end up becoming cowboys!”

  “You may be right,” Callie said with a sigh.

  “Riding a horse does not make you less a woman,” Chayton added, reaching over and patting Shanny’s hand.

  “If she continues to ride a horse, Mother will insist she ride sidesaddle,” Callie predicted.

  “I shall probably do very well in a sidesaddle,” Shanny smiled. “At least I am willing to learn how to be a proper lady, which is more than I can say about Joey attempting to be a civilized human being. If he doesn’t give up his Indian ways, no woman will ever have him!”

  Chayton gave her an amused glance, lifting his eyebrows. “Are you suddenly finding Indians distasteful?” he asked. “Your mother didn’t have a problem being attracted to me!”

  “That was because at the time you were a member of your tribe, and you kidnapped her. Joey has been raised with us all his life, and he wants to pretend he is a member of a tribe. Times have changed since my mother first met you,” Shanny reasoned. “I fear you encouraged Joey to be wild and uncivilized.”

  “No more wild and uncivilized than you,” Chayton chuckled.

  “All I am saying is that we will soon no longer be in Comanche country. Maybe Joey should learn to ride sidesaddle as well,” she smirked.

  “That is uncalled for,” Callie warned. “I’m sure Joey will learn to accept the customs of a big city and act accordingly.”

  She gave a pointed look at Joey.

  “As long as I am not expected to ride sidesaddle,” he drawled, and they all laughed.

  When the meal was over, and people started getting up from their tables, the waiter informed the group there was a parlor car where they could relax and visit, if they chose.

  “What makes him think we can’t visit in the Pullman coach?” Joey asked.

  “He means if we want to mingle with other people on the train,” Callie explained. It is easier to wander about in a parlor setting than to walk down the aisle of a Pullman coach. Perhaps you two would like to mingle and make friends with other young people on the train,” she suggested.

  “Not, hardly,” Joey muttered, “according to Shanny, I am not civilized enough!”

  He turned and headed back to the Pullman coach.

  “I’ll go with him,” Chayton said. “I doubt anyone is going to want to rub shoulders with a Comanche Indian,” he chuckled, looking at Shanny.

  “Then I will return with you,” Callie offered, not want
ing Chayton to feel ostracized.

  “I suppose I will go by myself, then,” Shanny stated.

  She did not feel like going back to their seats and staring out the window. Besides, she noticed the redheaded young woman heading in the direction of the parlor car. Maybe she could strike up a friendship with her since she showed so much interest in Joey.

  When Shanny entered the parlor car, it impressed her. Comfortable sofas and chairs filled the attractive space, arranged about the car in a welcoming fashion. She noticed small game tables where people could play cards together if they pleased. Newspapers, magazines, and books were furnished if one wished to merely sit and read. Some of the men were lighting up their cigars, as they sat down to relax and read a newspaper. Women were sitting together gossiping if they were not with a male companion or their families.

  At first, Shanny merely strolled through the car with its plush carpet, elaborate lights attached to the walls and tastefully draped windows. As she passed the redhead, the young woman looked up.

  “Hello,” she smiled at Shanny. “I was hoping you would come to the parlor car,” she admitted. “I wanted to ask you about the Indians sitting at your table.”

  She paused and then offered her hand to Shanny.

  “My name is Eleanor Martin.”

  Shanny took her gloved hand and then sat down beside her.

  “I am Shanny Callahan,” she introduced herself.

  “I hate to be forward, but I have never seen a real Indian before. I noticed you have two of them in your company,” Eleanor said a little sheepishly, her eyes darting away in mild embarrassment.

  “Yes I do,” Shanny smiled. “They are full-blooded Comanche, but I assure you, they are mostly civilized and house trained,” she laughed.

  “How did you ever meet them?” Eleanor asked, wide-eyed.

  “Chayton is my mother’s husband,” Shanny explained, eyeing her newfound friend to see how she would respond to the information. “I was born on the same day she met him. Actually, it was quite harrowing, to hear my older half-brother tell about it. Chayton actually captured my mother, so he could take her to nurse his motherless baby. That baby was Joey, my adopted brother. My real father was killed by Chayton’s companions, and later, my mother fell in love with Chayton. It is a long story. Joey and I were raised together all our lives, and now we are on our way to visit my grandmother who lives in Philadelphia.”