The Fledgling Read online

  “You have looked at me long enough,” I scolded, starting to pull away again, but he grabbed my wrist, so I couldn’t remove my fingers.

  “Don’t be angry at me,” he pouted. “At least let me wash your face.” He reached for the damp cloth, and started wiping away the mud and soot. “Your face is so soft,” he murmured, “and you’re so beautiful, but too skinny. We need to fatten you up. Father says a voluptuous body of a woman is more desirable.” He leaned towards me, causing himself to pull back from my touch, as he bent down, and I could feel his warm mouth touching my lips. “You taste salty,” he said. “But I think I like it.” His mouth covered my lips again and caused me to shiver. “You need to open your mouth more, to do it right,” he instructed.

  Hesitantly, I parted my lips, and I could feel him trace his tongue against my skin. The feel of him doing that, reminded me of how I had shivered when he had touched me.

  “You sure this won’t get a baby?” I asked, feeling a little panic.

  “I told you, it wouldn’t.” he insisted. “You are just kissing me. My body isn’t even near you where it counts, and your skirts are down, so don’t worry. Now you will be expected to kiss me all the time, but only when no one is looking.” His voice sounded a little angry that I would doubt him. “Don’t talk,” he said, when I started to open my mouth to say something, and as my mouth poised open, he pushed his tongue between my lips.

  I sat trembling, wondering whether to pull away, or allow him to kiss me like that? He gave another little push, causing me to open my mouth wider. But hadn’t he said we would have to get married, and until then, this would be expected of me all the time? I decided, if that was the case, my doing this was no worse than him touching me. Eventually he pulled away, and smiled at me.

  “Why did you do that?” I asked.

  “It’s part of the promise. I thought you knew. A kiss always seals a promise.”

  “Are you sure it is part of the promise? Why didn’t you warn me?” I questioned.

  “I didn’t want you to refuse. You have never been promised before. This is to bind the promise. It’s the most important part of it, and should be renewed as often as possible. You liked it, didn’t you?” he prodded me with his eyes.

  I didn’t answer. I didn’t know if I was supposed to like it? I knew somewhere in my being that what he were doing was not proper. The fact that he said no one could see us kissing, made me have my doubts, even if he said it was expected. His looking at me and touching me had not been proper either, but since I had looked at him too, it seemed to change the rules, I decided, and yet something wicked was insisting I wouldn’t mind having him do everything again, so I could become more familiar with what the promise was all about.

  “Now you have to kiss me back, just the way I kissed you, and then you are really mine.” he told me.

  Sheldon leaned his head to me again, and I tried to copy what he had done. He held me tighter, and the kiss lasted longer than I had expected.

  “You will always be mine, since you have kissed me willingly.” he informed me, when our lips finally parted. “Next time, you will be prepared for it, so we can keep binding the promise like this, until we are married.”

  “Are you sure?” I started to balk. “You didn’t tell me that, when you started to look at me in the beginning.

  “I couldn’t tell you everything at once. It will make me yours completely, and we should look at each other and kiss each other as often as possible. Then no one can stop us from getting married, when it is time. Father says when I am eighteen I will have to get married. That is two years away. Then I will insist he let me marry you.”

  “Will he let you do that? He doesn’t seem to like me,” I reminded him.

  “My father loved your mother. It is only right I love you, the same. He doesn’t have to love you. In two years I will love you more than this,” he promised. “And besides, we have already promised. So you can’t promise to someone else. Next time it will be easier to show that you want to marry me, because you will know what is expected,” he assured me, taking my hand and putting it against him again. “You do want to marry me, don’t you?”

  I stood there, feeling unsure of myself, as he held my hand over him. I didn’t know if I wanted to marry him? He was the only boy I had ever been with on any level. The only boys I had ever been around were the stable boys, or the servants, and this had never happened with any of them.

  He chuckled, and started doing up his trousers. “Don’t act so scared. No one will ever know.”

  “Are you sure you have never done this with anyone before?” I asked, a little hesitantly, as I watched him doing up his buttons.

  “I told you, you are the only girl I have seen, and you are the only girl who has ever seen me. You are the only girl to ever touch me. I wouldn’t want anyone else to do it now.” He pulled me closer to him, “Are you looking forward to next time?” he asked.

  I had to admit, that this was something I had never thought could happen, and the memory of it was still making me feel curious. So I slowly nodded my head.

  “Good,” he encouraged. “What we did won’t hurt you. It only makes our bond stronger,” he insisted. “I saw my Father touch a woman once, and it didn’t hurt her. He kissed her, that way too.”

  I looked shocked, wondering how he had managed to see it? He acted like he didn’t know what a girl looked like, but that must have been why he knew things about looking at a woman. “Was it your mother?” I asked in wonder.

  “No. She died when Chandra was born. He had a servant he kept for things like that, and one night I heard them talking, so I opened the door a crack and looked in. She liked what he was doing, only I couldn’t actually see him doing it, because he blocked most of my view. I just knew what he was doing. You will learn to like it too. They did a lot of other things, but I’ll tell you about that another time.”

  “And you are sure it won’t bring on a baby?” I asked, just to confirm it.

  I wondered if he was telling me the truth about marrying me. Maybe he thought I was a servant for him to keep to do things like that with him? After all, he said he owned me.

  “Don’t worry about it. We can talk more about it next time, if you want,” he whispered. “I’ll leave you, so you can bathe. I promise I won’t ever do anything that is not part of the promise. It will only be things to bind us together stronger. Having babies can wait until we are married,” he said, gently.

  “But how will I know you are telling me the truth?” I asked, wondering if I could trust him.

  “Just trust me. I will never hurt you. You liked what we did, didn’t you?” he breathed. “It is what you are supposed to do when you are promised.” Then he laid his mouth over mine. “I love you,” Floriana . “I am the only one who can ever love you, now. Do you love me?”

  “I will have to, if I can’t love anyone else, now that we are promised,” I insisted.

  “Say you love me, then,” he encouraged.

  “I love you,” I said.

  He smiled. “I knew you would. I knew the moment I saw you at our door, you would be mine, eventually. Now it is a sure thing. You can never go to another, and neither will I.”

  “I don’t know anyone else,” I told him.

  I thought about how anxious he was to have his father let me stay there, when I was about to be turned away. Sheldon kissed me again, his dark eyes seeking mine, his curly hair, falling over his forehead. He was very nice looking. Maybe I was in love with him, I told myself.

  “I don’t think I can wait two years to get married to you, but father should never find out that we plan to marry, he would get angry. If he does, he will send you away, and make you work on the streets, and then bring the money to him. He already has his mind set on someone he wants me to marry. I do not even like her. But I love you, Floriana . You are the only one I could ever love.”

  “I won’t tell anyone,” I promised. “I want to marry you, when you turn eighteen.” I certainly di
d not want to be made to work the streets.

  “Just two years,” he whispered. “Until then, no one can know our secret.”

  “No one will ever come to the tower, and besides, your father put you in charge of me,” I pointed out.

  “Yes. And I have the key,” he smiled, producing the key from his pocket. “We can always lock the door. I’ll come back and see how you are feeling in the morning. If your feet are too sore to walk, I will beg my father to give you another day to rest. I will bring you something to eat, in a bit, to fatten you up.”

  “I need some water to drink,” I insisted.

  “The one bucket is still clean,” he informed me, and brought it to me, helping me sit up, lifting the bucket to my lips, since there was nothing to use to dip into it.

  The water slid down my parched throat, and dribbled over my chin, running down the front of my dress. Sheldon looked at me longingly.

  “I’ll return later,” he promised, and then turned to the door, and left the room.

  I peeled my clothes off, and looked at myself in the mirror. Sheldon was right. I was skinny. I could see my ribs. My eyes lowered to the place Sheldon had looked at and touched. It made me wonder about promises between a boy and girl, and what was expected. I thought about how he had felt under my fingers. I thought about how he said we had to do those things together again. It was part of the promise, so I knew I couldn’t refuse him.

  I lifted the cloth, and began washing myself. There was a brush on the dresser, and I unbraided my hair and brushed the twigs away, and then dunked it in one of the buckets. There was no towel, but I used my petticoat to dry my hair, and then I crawled up on the rather dusty bed, threw off the top cover, and covered with the sheet.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  I fell asleep. I was so tired, and I wanted to savor everything in my mind. I had never thought about boys before. I had never thought about what men and women did together when they got married. I was starting to realize it was more than I had imagined. But I had liked some of it. Sheldon had been gentle, and he had made me feel special.

  Sleep drug me down into oblivion. I had barely slept the two nights out on the moor, and now my body demanded it. I was dreaming of what Sheldon had been doing with me, and my body could actually feel his touch and a strange need that was rising up inside of me. I let out a whimper, at the feel, but then my mouth was being smothered by someone’s lips and I gasped in a breath. I could feel the weight of someone on top of me. My eyes flew open. Someone was pinning me down against the bed, while their mouth captured my lips, and their hands raked against my breasts.

  “Sheldon!” I screamed, but when his head lifted, I could see it was not Sheldon. My Godfather was leering at me. His face inches from mine. I could smell the stink of alcohol on his breath.

  “Were you expecting Sheldon?” he asked, with a wicked grin. “He is already betrothed to another, so don’t you think you can have him. Did I tell you how much you remind me of your mother?” he growled in my ear. “She left me, but now she has sent you to me!”

  He started pushing my legs apart with a purpose, and I could not escape him. I scratched at his face, feeling the skin tear away, under my fingernails, but them his hand came down against my cheek, causing my head to snap.

  “You little bitch!” he roared, grabbing my hands and pinning them over my head, as my cheek throbbed with the slap he had given me, and my loins rebelled where he was trying to find a way in.

  Suddenly, the door flew open, and someone was pulling Aldridge off me.

  “Leave her alone,” I could hear Sheldon’s voice crying. “Get your drunk body out of here, and keep your hands off of her, or I swear I will kill you, father! She’s mine to care for, so you stay away!”

  I could see him pushing my Godfather from the room, and locking the door with the key. A tray of food sat by the door, where he had put it when he entered.

  “Floriana !” he gasped, rushing to me, trying to assess the damage, with his eyes. His hands went between my legs.

  “Did he hurt you?” Sheldon breathed. “Did he take your virginity?”

  I didn’t know what he meant by taking my virginity. He started to sob.

  “I was supposed to be the one to gentle you into it,” he moaned. He took the cloth, from the bucket, and started washing me there. “I won’t ever let him touch you again, even if I have to sleep with you every night. You should keep the key and lock your door at night,” he insisted, pushing the key into my hand. “My poor darling,” he cried, taking me up into his arms and rocking me.

  Tears had been streaming from my eyes, and Sheldon was kissing the red mark on my face where his father had slapped me.

  “I’ll make it up to you. When we get married, I’ll make it, so my father will stay away from you,” he mumbled, as he continued to rock me. “I promise I won’t let him come near this room again.”

  I wondered if Sheldon could even do that? He was afraid for his father to find out we had looked at each other, for fear of what he would do.

  “I don’t think he was able to do anything, but he tried to,” I finally managed to gasp. “If I have the key, you don’t have to worry,” I whispered, holding him close to me. My heart was slowing, but I still clung to him in fright.

  “I was bringing you something to eat,” he whispered.

  “I’m not hungry,” I told him. “Just stay here in case he comes back,” I begged.

  “I wish I could bring a priest, and have him marry us secretly,” he told me. “Then when I turned eighteen, I would announce it to the world. I just can’t let my father find out, until I become of age, or you would be in danger,” he insisted. “How old are you?” he asked, anxiously.

  “Almost fifteen,” I told him.

  “When you are seventeen, you will be my wife,” he promised.

  “That seems so far away,” I mumbled.

  “It is only two years,” he murmured against my hair. “Then you will be legally mine.”

  All of this was happening so fast, I could barely take in my breath. I had no sooner gotten here, and now I had almost been raped by Sheldon’s father, and promised to Sheldon as his wife in two-years-time. I wanted him there holding me. He had made me feel loved. My Godfather had tried taking me by force.

  Sheldon looked down at my body, as though he just realized I was not wearing any clothes.

  “You are mine,” he kept saying over and over again. “I won’t let anyone else have you!”

  His eyes slowly roamed over my body. Then he reached out his hand and touched my skin. His fingers paused, as he reached my breast, rubbing his finger lightly over me, again and again. Then he leaned forward and kissed my breast. His mouth moved to the other one and kissed it too. He continued to take turns kissing them, taking longer each time, as I lay in wonder at the feel of it.

  I was amazed that my body interested him so much. It embarrassed me a little to see him looking at me, and then touching me, the way he was doing, but I decided it must be part of the promise, just like he had said looking at me and touching me before was part of the promise. I waited to see what more would be part of the promise.

  When his mouth moved from my breast, he began kissing my body, until he had touched almost all of me with his lips.

  “I need to check and make sure my father did not break you,” he murmured. “I will have to look at you again, so don’t be upset,” he informed me.

  He didn’t wait for my permission. He merely proceeded to do his investigation, as I lay before him, and he lay on his stomach to inspect me.

  I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see what he was doing, but I could feel his fingers against me, as he held me in a way that gave him the view he was looking for, I guess.

  “Are you sure he did not hurt something inside of you?” he asked me. “Did he make it inside?” he almost moaned.

  “I told you, he only tried,” I reminded him.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I was asleep at first,” I sai
d, remembering I had felt someone touching me, but thought it was my dream, before Aldridge had kissed me.

  “Then he could have touched you, more than you thought,” Sheldon whispered. “If he broke you, I will never forgive him.”

  “How would you know if he broke me?” I asked.

  “By the way it looks and feels, I guess,” he told me.

  I didn’t think he really knew. After a while, Sheldon moved back up and lay beside me.

  “I hate my father for what he did,” Sheldon half growled. “He wants to spoil everything. He knows I don’t want to marry Tamara. But it is all about the money. If I marry her, she can save Heather Ridge House, and furnish money so my father can continue gambling.” Sheldon turned and began to kiss me, the same way he had kissed me before. His kisses seemed hungry, and he never seemed to tire of kissing me. I merely remained quietly accepting his kisses.

  “What would happen if I was broken?” I asked anxiously, between kisses.

  “I’m not sure. It might mean you are no longer a virgin, or maybe that you couldn’t have babies? I hope that isn’t the case. Don’t worry, though. I am sure you are fine, so just relax.”

  I tried to relax, but the feel of his kisses was making my heart race. He didn’t pause, when I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a whimper. Instead, his kiss became more insistent, as he continued to plunder my mouth.

  A warm feeling started to spread over me, Sheldon made me feel loved. I was a little alarmed because I wasn’t sure I should be letting him kiss me that way, when I didn’t have any clothes on. His kisses kept wandering over my body, and then back to my mouth, but the alarm was starting to turn into longing for that feeling of love to grow stronger. After all, he had told me that he loved me, and therefore I should love him too. I wondered if this was part of the promise. I could feel Sheldon’s fingers wander down my body, leaving goose bumps along the way, until he reached that part of me that shivered at his touch. Suddenly, without warning, a feeling sprung up to the surface, which made my whole body shudder. When it burst forth, I let out my breath.