Wild Irish Rose Page 5

  I go up to my room, and when I enter it, I find several boxes placed there. Shannon is taking black dresses out of the boxes and bags and is hanging them in the wardrobe. There are also black hats and gloves, along with slippers. There are even black stockings and undergarments. My mood is starting to turn black as well. I am not looking forward to having Loraine take over my life, right along with Jason’s life as well, the way I am getting the feeling she would like to do.

  I go to the window and look down on the garden where Loraine is strolling arm and arm with Jason, looking up at him, as she throws back her head causing her blond hair to bounce, while laughing at something he has said. I suddenly dislike Loraine more than I had at first mention of her. As much as Jason claims he shall never marry, I believe he has a formable challenge ahead of him, if Loraine really wants her way, the way I think she does.

  I watch as they stop and sit on a bench together. Loraine puts a gloved hand on Jason’s cheek, smiling up at him, as he looks down at her. Then he bends his head and kisses her. It is not the light kiss she had given him when she first greeted him. There seems to be a certain familiarity in the way he kisses her. I find myself shaking, just watching it. She is his lover and he has brought her here on the pretence of training me to be a lady so no one will suspect the real reason he wants her under his roof. I am starting to fit the pieces together in my over imaginative mind. That must have been his ploy in the first place. Find some unsuspecting woman that he can make his ward, and then have his lover come and pretend to make her into a lady. Then he can satisfy his need without raising eyebrows by bringing a lover to his home. I begin to hate Jason a little bit more and now I am even more determined to defy him and find a way to escape the manor at night so I can join the Fenian uprising.

  I cannot take my eyes off of the two kissing in the garden. I suddenly remember Jason saying, just because you don’t plan to get married, does not mean you can’t have women friends. Of course not. Women friends come in very handy when you don’t have a wife to fulfill your needs. Now I wished I had never let Jason hold me in my bed those two nights. I am glad I locked the adjoining door.

  I see them leave the garden and come back into the house. A few moments later, a footman comes and informs me that I am wanted in the drawing room. When I am ushered in by the footman, I find Loraine sitting on the settee. She smiles at me as I enter the room.

  “Dear me,” she says. “It looks as though I have a real challenge. Jason has told me a lot about you and your rebellious ways. You were raised on a farm and are used to being a hoyden, I understand. Hopefully it is not too late to improve your ways.”

  “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” I state the old adage.

  “We shall see about that. Jason is very hopeful that we can at least take the rough edges off, so someone of account will be willing to marry you. You are very striking, I can give you that, so that is one thing that is in your favor.” I simply blink at her. “Perhaps, we could start by teaching you the rudiments of flirting. Even if I can’t turn you into a lady, with your looks, and a few well chosen words, you could probably persuade any man into falling for your charms.”

  “Is that what you are doing with Jason? Trying to get him to fall for your charms?” I ask bluntly.

  “Goodness. It is not genteel to be so outwardly accusing. Every woman flirts with a man. It is part of the accepted manner between men and women,” she informs me.

  “Well he is not going to marry you,” I continue, ignoring her statement. “He told me so himself. But I suppose being his lover has a certain conquest to it,” I add.

  Loraine starts to laugh. “My, my, my. Either you are overly protective of Jason, or you have your heart set on him yourself,” she states to my surprise.

  “Hardly!” I spit. “Jason can take care of himself. As for me, I never plan to get married again, regardless of his wishes to marry me off to the first person that offers. You are not only wasting your time with Jason, but you are also wasting your time with me. Besides, not wanting to get married again, even if I wanted to, Jason would never be my choice. He is a disgrace to his own countrymen, siding with the English against Ireland. I would be ashamed to call myself Irish, if I were him.”

  “Well, now that you have gotten that off your chest, perhaps we should start on teaching you how to hold your tongue, no matter how much you wish to expose your inner thoughts.”

  “In other words, you wish me to be coy and deceiving, just like the English,” I state.

  “Hmmm, deceiving is an interesting word to use. Jason believes you are deceiving him, going out at night, probably to get involved with an Irish uprising that will only manage to get you killed.”

  “He said that?” I ask in shock.

  “It is no secret that your husband was a part of that group. Jason has risked his reputation, by taking you under his wing. It would be cruel to repay him by taking up where your husband left off, don’t you think?”

  “Jason thinks he owns me, but he doesn’t. I didn’t ask him to take me under his wing,” I state boldly.

  “Just the same, he is trying to show you a better way to live your life. Leave the fighting up to the men and take your place as a respectable woman.”

  “I refuse to flirt with men so outrageously. It is demeaning!” I rage.

  “No, it is expected, and accepted. Women are at a man’s mercy. She can choose the man she wishes to be with, but in the end he has to ask her to become his wife. Flirting merely shows you are available and the way you flirt indicates how much you are truly interested in a certain man. Then it is up to the man to flirt back and let you know whether he is interested in you, or not.”

  “Does Jason flirt back with you to let you know he is interested? I ask.

  “Jason and I go back a long way. I have already played the flirting game with him. We both understand each other perfectly, which is something I cannot say for you, where Jason is concerned.”

  “I do not play the flirting game and even if I did, Jason would be the last person I would ever flirt with.”

  “Then why does it upset you to believe I am his lover?” she asks bluntly, now.

  “I find it disgusting, that he would invite his lover to his house on the guise that he is trying to help me find a husband that I don’t want in the first place. Why would he try to force me to attract some man I don’t want in my life, if it were not for the fact that in doing so he could have you under his roof?”

  “Well, that was a pretty speech,” Loraine laughs. “Now I see how your mind works. You underestimate Jason. Stop judging him and just allow him to help you.”

  “Of course, it is natural for you to say that, considering as long as Jason is helping me, you too are being helped,” I smile.

  “Think what you may, but for now, you need to pay attention to the things I will try to teach you. Remember, the sooner you learn, the sooner I will be out from under Jason’s roof,” she smiles. “That should make you happy.”

  “Then I suppose we are wasting time,” I murmur. She is right. The sooner I learn, the sooner she will be out of my hair, so in spite of my distaste of what she and Jason are trying to do, I decide to cooperate.

  Loraine gives me a big smile. “I thought you would see it my way,” she smirks. “I will teach you some of the ways to flirt and you can practice with Jason. He will tell you where you make mistakes and then flirt back, in order to let you see what is expected of someone who is interested, and someone who is not. That way you will be able to read the signals and not make a fool of yourself.”

  I frown. “I don’t see the real purpose in flirting anyway. I didn’t have to flirt with Ferrell in order to marry him.”

  “You probably did not have many choices in men, having been a farmer’s daughter with only other farmers to meet. But we are going to take you to places where there will be more men to choose from than you have imagined. Therefore, you have to be prepared to weed out the ones that don’t interest you, while attr
acting the ones that do. I will also teach you a few put downs, so the man will know you are not interested, without you being so rude to just tell him to his face, which is what you would probably end up doing, from what you have demonstrated so far. After all, a lady must never reveal her true feelings as boldly as you choose to do,” she informs me.

  “Of course. Why actually let someone know what you are really thinking, when you can pretend you don’t know how to think,” I simper.

  “Now you are getting the picture. Men like their women demure. They have big egos. If you act like you know more than a man, it bruise his ego, and that will never do.”

  “So now I have to pretend like I am dumb?”

  “You might say that,” Loraine laughs.

  “You must think men are stupid,” I laugh back.

  “They are directed by their, how should I put it…..manly desires. Everything else comes second, I believe.”

  “You have been with all the wrong kind of men,” I tell her. “Perhaps it is only society men that are that way. All the men I have met honor women and want to protect them, not marry them in order to satisfy their manly desires,” I inform her.

  “Well, men have their own way to charm a woman,” she smiles. “They make you believe what you want to believe, in order to have the woman of their true desires. Not to say men can’t love you and want to protect you, but the game of discovering which one that happens to be, does take a certain amount of talent.”

  “You make it out to be a game. And I fear, it is a game I do not wish to play,” I am truthful with her.

  “None the less, you are going to have to play it, if you do not want to remain Jason’s ward for the rest of your life. Just keep that in mind, if you detest the man so much.”

  The rest of the morning is spent with Loraine trying to teach me the proper way to flirt, even though I can’t possibly use it until I am finished mourning, and even then, I doubt I would ever use it. But it passes the day, and it seems to make Loraine feel like she is useful. I think it will help if I am a good student. Then Loraine will be out of my life, that is if Jason doesn’t end up marrying her after all, I think, sourly.

  After lunch, Jason asks me to walk through the garden with him. He is the one who puts my arm through his, as we stroll along the path. “How are the lessons coming along? Do you get along with Loraine well?”

  “Loraine and I see eye to eye,” I tell him. “She is someone I can be honest with.” Of course I believe I can be honest with most people, except for Jason, considering if he knew what I was up to, he would have me in chains, to make sure I remained at the manor.

  Jason looks down and smiles at me and I pause looking up at him. “I have never noticed how your eyes spark, when you smile,” I say, reaching my hand up and touching his cheek, the way I had seen Loraine do.

  “Really,” Jason whispers, pausing to look down on me.

  “I suppose I have been so caught up in the loss of my husband, that there are a lot of things I haven’t noticed,” I continue.

  “Such as?” he asks.

  “Well, your lips seem so strong most of the time, but the way you smile at me now……” I take my finger and touch his bottom lip. “I see a tenderness there.”

  As I hold my finger to his lip, Jason gives it a casual kiss and I laugh lightly, lowering my eyes, the way Loraine had taught me. “You can be actually charming, when you wish to be,” he murmurs.

  “You must understand that the death of my husband is still very fresh. I could never give my heart to another man, but when I am around you… there is something… Well, my hearts seems to flutter, when ever you touch me. The night you held me in your arms to comfort me, I felt more than comforted,” I tell him. In a way, I was telling the truth, but not the way I was pretending to feel at the moment.

  “You cannot imagine how much I enjoyed holding you,” he breaths. “I am glad I was able to comfort you.”

  “And you are so understanding of my wayward ways,” I continue. “I have never seen anyone as patient as you. I don’t appreciate you enough.” I place my hand on his chest, as I turn and look up at him, blinking back a tear.

  Jason lowers his face to mine. “You will get beyond the hurt in time,” he whispers.

  “Having you here to support me, helps,” I say softly. “You have a certain warmth…” I don’t finish, as I gaze up into his eyes.

  “I hope you realize I am only looking out for your best interest,” he mumbles, as he gazes back at me.

  “I just feel so helpless. I don’t know where to turn. But you are strong. I sense I can lean on you,” I say, leaning against him a little.

  “Yes, of course you can,” he whispers, and as he says it, I lift my face to his. I feel his lips falling softly on mine, and I let him kiss me.

  When our lips part, I smile. “Loraine was right! Flirting does work,” I say, and promptly pull away from him. “I hope you will report back to her that I learned the first lesson correctly,” I laugh, as his face suddenly changes from softness to a little astonishment.

  Then he chuckles. “I suppose you had my heart fluttering there for a moment,” he smiles. “You are a better student than we bargained for. I will be on my toes after this.”

  “Which just makes my point. If I must play a game, how will anyone ever know when it is real?”

  “A very good question,” he murmurs, and he takes my arm and puts it back through his elbow. “But sometimes it is necessary to play the game. In time you will discover that.” Then Jason steers me back towards the house. “Next, I think are piano lessons. That will keep your mind busy so you won’t need to have your friends distracting you at night. You can just practice the piano when you start feeling restless, or want some distraction from your thoughts.”

  “I have always wanted to learn to play the piano. Does Loraine play?”

  “Devinely, to be exact, and so you should pay close attention to her lessons.”

  “Such a talented woman, and yet you do not wish to marry her? The way you were kissing her in the garden, I thought… well maybe you were not being very honest with me. Is it you who are playing a game now?”

  “Flirting, as you are starting to learn, brings a certain pleasure that we don’t always expect. Did you take my kiss seriously?” he asks.

  “I see,” I say. “Kissing is really not supposed to mean anything, then.”

  “It depends on the reason for the kiss,” he responds. “So don’t jump to conclusions over a mere kiss,” he cautions.

  “I won’t,” I say. “It appears you enjoy kissing women, considering you do not want to marry one.”

  “Kisses can be enjoyable, even if you don’t marry the woman,” he informs me.

  “If you say so,” I murmur, looking sideways up at him. His kiss had been enjoyable, but I had just done it to show him I could flirt. It hadn’t dawned on me to analyze the kiss. Maybe he was right. I shouldn’t take kissing seriously. I remember how Randy kissed me. It had meant nothing to me, even though I liked him as a friend. He had done it out of love, though, I think. Unless both people love each other, like Ferrell and I had, kissing meant nothing. A new lesson learned, I think.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The week is spent with more lessons on flirting, and the proper way to walk, sit, handle a fork, pour out tea, flip a fan, and a lot of other useless things I don’t think I will ever use, along with the piano lessons, which I actually enjoy. Between lessons, the three of us sometimes go riding, and I take this opportunity to excuse myself and go to the farms to visit. I know Jason frowns on me mingling with the farmers, now that he is trying to turn me into a lady, but they are his tenants and my old friends.

  I look for Randy to discover when the next meeting is. “You shouldn’t come. We are going to break into the armory to steal some long rifels. It might be dangerous,” he tells me.

  “If I only do things that are not dangerous, what is the purpose of me helping? Everything about even being a Fenian is dangerous,” I
point out.

  “Very well. Jamie said he would help watch you. I suppose you will just try to follow me again, or go to the armory in order to join us. It will be tomorrow night. We will meet at the barn, and then go from there to the armory.”

  “Jason is trying to keep me at the house at night, and now that Loraine is there, hoping to teach me how to become a lady, it will be even harder to slip out. So if I am late, I will meet you at the armory,” I tell him.

  “Maybe it is a good thing Jason is trying to stop you from going out. You don’t know what’s good for you, Rose,” Randy scolds.

  “It is so sweet of you to say so,” I tell him and give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, brother of mine,” I smile, and then climb back up on my horse.

  Randy touches his cheek. “If it is a husband you will be needing, you know I am always available. Don’t let Jason marry you off to some Englilsh man before considering me,” he says.

  “You are merely dreaming, Randy,” I laugh. “I don’t intend to marry an English man, or you, but thanks for asking.”

  When I get back to the manor, Jason and Loraine are just starting down some steps from the kitchen. “I was just getting ready to show Loraine the wine cellar,” Jason smiles. “Would you like to come?”

  I see the frown on Loraine’s face when he says that, and I smile. “I would love to come,” I tell him, knowing how much it irritates Loraine for me to be there.

  I follow the two down to the wine cellar, while Jason carries a lantern to light the way. It is cool down there and the light bounces off of the stone walls on either side of the steps, causing our shadows to dance on the walls as we descend. “I am going to be gone for a couple of days,” Jason tells me, “but you have plenty of things to keep you occupied and Loraine is here to keep you company, so you won’t be feeling like you need to go visit your friends at the farms while I am gone. Promise you will stay put,” he tells me.

  “What choice do I have? Apparently, I am your prisoner, not your ward,” I mumble.