Beyond the Heart Read online

  As Chet tested her response, she did not resist. He wanted to prove to himself that he could bring her to the same longing that prodded him on, every time he touched her, anticipating the ending result, once he got his way.

  Chet’s kisses were measured and his touch was light. His fingers delighted in the very silky softness of her skin beneath them. It was a softness he would never tire of; something he demanded more of, and by no means, ever seemed to get his fill.

  The gentleness of his stroke continued, as his exploring fingers and mouth satisfied his never dying cravings. It was that irresistible mystery of a woman he strived to uncover, which always drew him on into its depths, no matter how often he experienced it. That constant need pulled at him still.

  Now Chet wanted to bring Callie’s soul to the surface in a way he knew he was capable of. He tested her response, pleased at the way she almost mewed; knowing her resistance was finally being breached. His focus turned only to her, and how she moved at his persuasions. The sounds that emanated from her lips, which fell softly on his ears, urged him on. Once she discovered what rapture he could create, she would be his to enjoy completely.

  Callie was being carried away by Chet’s attempts to weaken her resolve, as he expressed his desire to please her. She did not expect him to be so gentle and persuasive in his endeavor to calm her. Now his hands slid over her with concern and pampering, so different from his first introductions of a husband’s demands. Instead of impatient desire, accompanied by forced submission, he allowed her to anticipate his next move. Somehow, he was fooling her into encouraging him in ways she had not expected, had he not known how to bring her own wanting to the surface.

  All of those wanting needs surprised Callie. They had started when she had allowed herself to relent to Chet’s advances. She did not expect those strange feelings to surface. She had tried to understand them and now, her awakening was coming upon her to show her what those initial longings actually meant.

  The longings grew, as Chet drew them from her in such unexpected ways. Ways that would have upset her only two days earlier, but now seemed destined to overwhelm her. She was overwhelmed, as her whole body responded to a new experience, she could not describe. She didn’t want to describe it. She only wanted to drown in it and let it wash her away to an unfamiliar shore.

  Chet assisted Callie in reaching that shore, and now she found herself encouraging him, her own body betraying her. The promise that she would fight him off, if he ever touched her intimately again, seemed to die in the process.

  When Chet had achieved his goal, he took his reward and mentally patted himself on the back when she encouraged him on. She no longer lay still beneath him. Instead, she rose to his every move, the same way Rolletta had in the beginning.

  Chet’s problem had continually been that his passion was forever two steps ahead of his better intentions, and eventually it always came down to his own physical needs. He found it difficult to tamp his strong impulses down, to attend to his wife’s desires in the same way he demanded her to attend to his. His impatience usually seemed to get the better of him.

  For now, though, he took the time needed to change Callie’s opinion of her wifely duty. He could not promise to bother with such long, drawn-out procedures in the future, but for the time being, it was expedient to seduce her into compliance, since he refused to have his own needs denied, either now, or in the future.

  Those deep requirements seemed to be a driving force within him when he was not distracted by the physical occupation of working his horses and driving his cattle to market, or at branding time when that kind of exerted energy seemed to keep his mind from constantly dwelling on thoughts of coveted pleasures.

  His preparations of Callie, had their own rewards, though, he had to admit. Not only was she now participating in the act, but her eagerness enhanced his own pleasure, and he drew that pleasure out for as long as his self-control could prolong it. When he finally gave in, his reward was double-fold, shaking his very being in its intensity. He lay shuddering against Callie’s soft body.

  “You see, my sweet,” he breathed. “There are a few rewards involved in a wife’s duty. I suggest you remember it, the next time you threaten to fight me off tooth and nail,” he chuckled.

  Callie was a little stunned at her own response to Chet’s advances. She could not believe she had enjoyed it as much as she had, and perhaps her father had been right in suggesting that she may end up being fulfilled by her wifely duty. Now she began to have a whole new perspective, and she decided to give Chet a chance to show her his tender side in the future.

  “I apologize,” she whispered.

  She was married now, and since there was no getting out of it, maybe she would have to try and come across to Chet, she decided.

  “That is better,” he murmured, “but I have to warn you. It may not always be this way. Sometimes, it may not be convenient to take our time like this. I hope, at those times, you will be understanding of it.”

  Callie had already experienced what he described, so she wasn’t surprised at his explanation.

  Chet was proud of himself, because now she could not demand he take the time to please her every time they coupled, and once he had her accepting him on a regular basis, she would come across well enough. Otherwise, he would just have to take the time, when necessary. He envisioned the many sons she would eventually give him to add to the one her sister had born. He hoped she was as fertile as Rolletta had been, only giving sons instead. With several boys to help him, he could make his ranch the success he wished it to be. He prayed for more boys.

  Callie was woken by Chet nestling his head between her breasts. It felt comforting in a way she couldn’t explain, and she found herself running her fingers through his hair. She could feel his hands advancing, pushing down over her hips, and as he did so, the baby started crying.

  “I should probably tend to her,” Callie murmured.

  “Let her be. A little crying is not going to hurt her. It is a sure thing, she has done it enough over the months,” Chet muttered. “Take some time to please me first, and then you can tend to her needs.”

  “But she is a mere baby!” Callie insisted. “You are a grown man. Surely, you can wait until later.”

  “Like hell I can,” Chet said gruffly. “You do not understand, Callie. I’m in the mood right now! It may wane if I put it off. The baby is the one who will have to wait!”

  As he said the words, he proceeded to have his way, pinning her under him when she tried to refuse.

  “You are a selfish brute, Chet!” she scolded. “I cannot believe you had one soft moment last night! You act as though you have been starved of having your pleasures met. Both you and I know that is not the case”

  The baby continued to wail as Chet endeavored to finish what he had started, but Callie’s complaints and the constant crying was starting to make him lose his desire. He pulled away angrily.

  “You’ve made me lose the mood! I’ll have Connor get more milk,” he grumbled.

  When Chet returned, Callie already had Rolletta against her, trying to satisfy the baby, while she waited for the bottle. Once he handed it to her, she slid the tube into the corner of the baby’s mouth again, pleased when it began drinking the warm milk.

  “She seems content now,” Chet murmured. “I think I need some of that same contentment.”

  Chet crawled onto the bed and began to caress Callie as she fed the baby. Callie felt outraged but knew better than to try to stop him, since she had the baby to contend with.

  “Put her back in the crib,” Chet murmured, taking the child from her arms. “She can suck on the tube, now that she has the hang of it.”

  Chet lowered the baby into the crib, propping the bottle up to allow her to continue drinking. Then he turned to Callie, pulling her down to a lying position, and picked up where he left off before the baby had started crying.

  Callie did not complain. After all, he had gone to the trouble to please her t
he night before. Therefore, she tried to respond to him the way he expected, and he seemed pleased when he finally removed himself from her and told her to put on one of her sister’s dresses. It was time to get to work, and they were wasting daylight.

  Callie began to be drawn into the routine of the day, as one day followed another. The mornings were spent, pleasing her husband, then changing and feeding the baby. Once that was out of the way, she rose to fix breakfast, while Chet went out to take care of things on the ranch. When she rang the bell, he would return for breakfast. Then Chet would take Connor and Ina with him to help with chores, while Callie tended to the other two younger girls, and Rolletta.

  She would clean up the breakfast leavings, let Tommy and Beth, who were four and two, go out and play in the yard, and then worked at cleaning up the house, in between feeding and changing the baby. Later, she would wash all the diapers, and other clothes, in the round tub, using a scrubbing board, and then hang the clothes on the line out back. Lunch time would come and everyone got fed and she put the children down for a nap.

  Sometimes, Chet would remain and take her to their room to enjoy her body, if he did not have any pressing chores himself. Otherwise, she would get her own needed nap, because she knew the evening would be spent allowing Chet to satisfy his ever recurring needs, in the hopes of having another son. She hoped that the newness of having her always at his disposal, would start to wear off, and he wouldn’t demand her services so often.

  There were times that Chet’s hired hand, Cooper, came to help on special occasions with projects that the children could not help Chet accomplish. On those days, Cooper was usually invited to eat with the family, but other than Cooper, Callie seldom saw anyone except for Chet and the children. This made her feel isolated and lonely. She wondered if her sister had felt the same way.

  Callie found time to cut up some of her dresses that she was never allowed to wear and make curtains for the drab windows of the house. She made Connor a new shirt, and since she was a rather accomplished seamstress, she also made the girls dresses, using more of her own clothes for the material needed to make them. When Chet discovered the girls wearing dresses, he went into a rage.

  “You are wasting your time, getting those girls all gussied up,” he bellowed. “Overalls are good enough for them. If I can’t have boys, at least my girls need to learn they are not exempt from hard work around this place, and you can’t do a decent job at chores in a fancy dress. Get rid of them!”

  “They are only children,” Callie complained. “Not your work hands.”

  “They don’t have any need for that kind of falderal. Don’t think you can start changing things around here, Callie. I am the one who sets the rules!”

  However, Chet seemed satisfied with her efforts to make the house look more presentable, and even agreed to whitewash the outside for her, insisting the children help him.

  Callie discovered, as the routine continued, almost identical to the day before, that Chet never bothered to take the time to bring her any pleasure as he had, that one, unusual moment, when he managed to coax away her resistance. It dawned on her he had merely done that to get her to submit willingly at the time. She was so tired as it was, it got to where she stopped caring one way or the other. She just allowed him his due, and then turned over and went to sleep, only to be woken up early, once again to try and alleviate what she believed to be his disturbing constant thirst, to create a son.

  Eventually, he became less demanding of her every night or morning, and she prayed for those times when she could just go to sleep at night and not be woken up early in the morning to please him.

  As long as she submitted, to him when he did demand it, he treated her well enough, so she decided not to create more problems than she was willing to handle. Callie did not find any love growing for Chet, though, and the closest she came to it was an understanding tolerance for something that appeased him, while never fulfilling her.

  She did begin to bond with the children; especially with Rolletta. When Chet was working, she often allowed Rolletta to have the pleasure of taking her breast with the feeding hose, gaining her own small pleasure from the closeness. However, she never did it in front of Chet, because she knew it aroused him, and he assumed his daughter had been weaned to accept the hose alone.

  In the long run, Callie discovered that Chet got his way in more ways than one. She finally announced to him that she was with child, hoping this would prevent his ever needing drive to bring about that condition in her. She was proven wrong. Instead, it made little difference to him. Chet informed her she still must fulfill her duty as a wife. When she complained, he became even more demanding, as though he wished to punish her for trying to reject him.

  Callie stood near the front door, looking out in the yard at Chet working with one of his cutting horses. She was beginning to despise him in the same way she had when she first married him. She had tried it his way. She even endeavored to be understanding of his need to use her body at every opportunity. Now she believed there was something seriously wrong with him that made him constantly want his pleasures met, the moment they came upon him.

  In the beginning, she reasoned it was his need to have another son, but she soon came to the conclusion that it was more than just wishing her to be carrying a child.

  The cattle drive was about to take place, and soon Cooper and the drovers, Chet hired to drive his cattle to market, would show up. Secretly, she wished that he would merely fall from his horse and be trampled to death by the cattle. Only if that actually happened, she would not have any means of support, so it was better if Chet remained alive. No matter how she looked at it, she would have to struggle, one way or the other. Once the baby was born, she was sure he would start working on the next one; demanding she give him more sons. If she didn’t have a son this time, he would be even more insistent. It was like an obsession with him, she decided, and wondered what demons urged him on?

  It was getting close to her time, and she was looking forward to Chet’s leaving, so she would not have to deal with him or his constant needs. This was the second cattle drive, Chet was about to take since they got married. He left for the first one, a year earlier. She had welcomed the reprieve, the last time he left her for several weeks, taking the Cattle to Kansas, where he could get a higher price of over twenty dollars for each head, instead of the eight dollars he would receive if he took them in San Antonio to sell. However, even though it was farther away, he didn’t have to pay his hired help much more, than he would have, had they taken the herd to San Antonio, which gave him a decent profit after all was said and done.

  At the end of her reprieve, when Chet returned, back then, it was as though he had to make up for lost time. He would even pull her into the barn, if she was passing by, or drag her out to lay her in the grass, so he could ravage her.

  She began to resent it, when she saw him looking at her with an intent glint in his eye, knowing his objective, which was no longer a nightly, or morning routine any longer. As her time came closer, she began to beg off, and there were several times he relented.

  Her first assessment of him, and the way he had treated Rolletta proved to be correct, if he had treated Rolletta, in the same manner, he was behaving toward her now, she decided. She knew that he intended her to remain with a baby inside her, in between each new birth, if he could possibly bring it about. His greedy lust for sons, combined with his lust of the body, would never diminish, she feared. She would end up dying in childbirth herself, she thought. Then he would find a new wife to put through similar misery.

  Callie lifted her head and looked beyond where Chet was working his horse. There was a cloud of dust in the distance. She wondered if it was Cooper and the cowhands that would help Chet drive the cattle to market, arriving early. She didn’t think they had planned to leave today, though. All she knew was that there were several riders in the distance, coming straight for Chet’s ranch.

  As they got closer, she took in her
breath. She could see the painted faces, the feathers waving in the wind, the fierceness of their expressions, and then one face grabbed her, as it brought back memories of that frightening face that haunted her dreams. She knew the face belonged to him! Her dreams had been predicting this moment in time long before she ever came to this ranch, and she feared it meant the end of her.

  Frantically, Callie started calling for the children, gathering them into the house. Telling them to come with her into her room, as she barred the door; pushing one of her heavy trunks, which held the material she had been using to make baby clothes with, in front of the door. As she pushed the trunk in place, she felt a sudden pain rip through her stomach, and she discovered water running down her legs. Instinctively, she knew the baby was coming, and there would be no way she could stop it.

  She cried out in pain and lowered herself on the bed. Connor looked at her with frightened eyes. He knew what was happening. He had been there when his own mama died after giving birth to his little sister. He rushed forward and grabbed her hand.

  “Don’t worry, mama, if you don’t have a boy, I won’t let you die!”

  Rolletta looked at him strangely. Why would he say that she wondered? Maybe he thought that having a baby girl was what killed his mother. “I am going to be just fine,” she promised, but she knew she was lying to him.

  The pains were too strong and there were savage Indians surrounding the house. She could hear their yapping. They were all going to die; she shuddered inside, as she squeezed against Connor’s hand. The rest of the children cowered in one corner across the room, all staring at the door.

  She glanced out the window when she heard a shot fired, and tried to sit up, to see what was happening outside. It was then that she saw Chet, sprawled on the ground with a rifle in his hand, and an arrow through his back. Her thoughts were jerked back to earlier when she had wished Chet would fall off of his horse and get trampled. She was certain her very wish had caused Chet’s death, and she felt abhorred at herself for having dared to wish for Chet’s demise.